Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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