I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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