let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
its not stalking. its research.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
