It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
