i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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