i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
