His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
