um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
