worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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