let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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