Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
