Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
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