Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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