Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
