Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
