It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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