Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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