You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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