i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize