Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
