Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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