what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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