Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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