It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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