There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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