The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
