So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
