dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It was confusing and full of hummus
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
