come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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