This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
she peed on how many people?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
