I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize
