I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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