Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
