Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
