Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
