so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
