quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
