i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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