i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
