the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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