in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
