I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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