he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
