Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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