it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
