Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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