Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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