Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
