are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
