I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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