I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
