it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
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