If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
where am i from again
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize