it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
