I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
