Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
It's no shave November. This is our time.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
