wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Randomize
