They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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