He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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