dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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