I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
