bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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