these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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