question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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