sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
