My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
