She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Randomize
