Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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