Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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